Hellraiser 3: How It Should've Ended Kinda
by IzzyandDesRoxSox
Summary: Just when you thought it was over, I give you not one, not two, but THREE crack endings including a lack of Kirsty, but a severe amount OOC-ness though, immaturity, and the greatest nemesis of all...a tree.


Hellraiser 3: How It Should've Ended- Kinda

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_**Author's Note:**__ And you all thought you'd never see another one of these crack filled manias return now, eh? :) Now I got some inspiration from another "How It Should've Ended" YouTube clip, but rather a bonus scene- It's associated to how the Hunger Games should've ended, a bonus clip called "HISHE Hunger Games- Bonus Scene" featuring the young villains the Careers and their nemesis that stands in the way to getting Katniss...a tree._

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_**WARNING:**__ Includes OOC, sarcasm, oblivious stupidity, babies, the Lion King, a tree, disobidience, suitaphobia, dragons, cat fights, ridiculous loving nicknames, and a lack of Kirsty Cotton. :( Darn._

_Let's see what situation prevails with all our friends here..._

* * *

_**PINHEAD**__- *furious as he sees Joey escape* AFTER HER!_

_*nothing happens*_

_**PINHEAD**__- *growls* Hello? That was an order!_

_**PISTONHEAD AND DREAMER**__- *making out passionately and all rated R but pull away suddenly startled at Pinhead's fury* Oh! :O_

_**PISTONHEAD**__- So about that order...You mean like right NOW?_

_**DREAMER:**__ At this exact given moment?_

_**PINHEAD-**__ *stamps foot* Yes! Yes! Yes! Of course I mean at the present moment! *notices Camerahead's lens right at his face*...The hell are you doing?_

_**CAMERAHEAD**__- :( Recording your abuse that's what! Ya forced us all into this nutty job and now I'm gonna take a stand of this with my lawyer!_

_**PINHEAD: **__*rolls eyes* HA! I'd like to see you try! _

_**RANDOM LADY LAWYER**__- *appear uptight, rich, and quite frankly...frightening* Mr. Totec my name is Wanda Poloski and I represent my client Mr. Fisher here in his claims filed against you for the actions you've taken against him. Now if you please-_

_**PINHEAD**__- *shudders at the fear of lawyer* Erm- yeah yeah whatever. I'll respond- *stops* AND WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?_

_**CD**__: *defiant* I'M going HOME! That's what! I've had enough of this crap! I didn't even want this job in the fucking first place! |:(_

_**PINHEAD**__- Argh! *facepalms* _

_**BARBIE**__- *ecstatic* Cool! I'm a dragon! *burns down like three buildings easily*_

_**PINHEAD:**__ You're supposed to use your powers for good! Er doh! *facepalms* Evil! Evil I say! Just stop fooling around! GAH!_

* * *

It COULD'VE ended like that.

Then again it could've ended like THIS also...

* * *

_**JOEY:**__ *runs for her life as she's being chased viciously from the streets and the church she barely escaped, with the box in her hand* _

_**THE PSEUDO CENOBITES: **__*cacklings madly as they pursue her*_

_**DREAMER: **__*chuckling evilly* We're gonna get you Joey!_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*eagerly agreeing* Ya can't run forever!_

_**PINHEAD:**__ *goofy smile as he casually strolls along in the background watching the scene unfold* *totally off subject* WORLD DOMINATION FOR THE WIN! _

_**JOEY:**__ *pants out of breath, now realizing she's in the construction site* *looks up and sees a tree randomly there, and decides to climb up it*_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__*first to run up to the tree* We have you now!_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*smug smirk* Yeah! Get down here so we can kill you!_

_**JOEY:**__ O_O *does absolutely nothing but remains where she is at the tree*_

_**BARBIE:**__ *frowns* Oh c'mon, don't be like that! Please come down? Please? We only want to viciously torture you!_

_**JOEY:**__ O_O *stills stays in the tree*_

_**CD:**__ *groans* Oh this is just a waste of time! Come on you guys, let's just wait her out. She's gotta come down at some point._

_**DREAMER:**__ *nods in agreement* He's right. Besides, I feel like we've resorted to this as our last option after just harassing her and poking her with my cigarette a couple of times._

_**PISTONHEAD: **__And I hit her with a pole and she STILL wouldn't die, so like nobody else should totally try anything else._

_**CD: **__*suggestive* Well I didn't mean we should just give up. Shouldn't we just like- chop the tree down or something? I mean, these CD weapons of mine look pretty sharp. And this IS a construction site, maybe there's some tools nearby that could be useful._

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*rolls eyes* Psh! That's stupid. That'll take like waaaay too long._

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__He's right, we should all just probably take a nap or something._

_**THE OTHERS EXCEPT CD: **__*agree* Mhm._

_**PINHEAD: **__*watches this stupidity unfold* *eye twitches violently* YOU FOOLS! Do something!_

_**DREAMER: **__*sad eyes* But Joey doesn't wanna come down right now._

_**PINHEAD: **__And? ! So? ! What Terri, you need her permission to destroy her? !_

_**BARBIE: **__*shrugs* Well it isn't very nice to torture people without asking them._

_**PINHEAD: **__*in disbelief* Coming from the dude who burned down a building and threw freakin' gasoline at a bunch of police officers and is now sincerely bound to have his ass kicked on __COPS__!_

_**BARBIE: **__*sniffles* Hey! I'm only doing what you ordered us all to do! Don't make me go find a freakin' hammer around here and hit you with it!_

_**CD: **__*sarcastic* Oh so NOW someone who wants to take up to my ideas with using the construction tools!_

_**PINHEAD:**__ *daring, and amost sings like Pat Benatr* Oh hit me with your best shot!_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__*waves arms around to get attention, still focusing on defeating Joey* Uh HELLO? ! Forget about something? !_

_**PINHEAD: **__*sassy* Yeah you mean about how you guys are totally not in the fourth film at all while I am, and no one seems to take notice of your absence because I'm awesome like that? *grins* I think so._

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*narrows eyes and flips him off* Fuck you._

_**JOEY: **__O_O *stills up in that tree* *sighs* I wonder where Elly-Poo is..._

_**PINHEAD: **__*roars* ELLY-POO? ! As in my human counterpart, Elliot Spencer? ! Leviathan forbid, don't even tell me you're in a relationship with- with- with HIM!_

_**JOEY: **__*arches brow* So?_

_**PINHEAD: **__*defensive and childish* Well clearly I'm sexier!_

_**EVERYONE: **__O RLY NOW?_

_**DREAMER: **__*second thoughts* Well then again..._

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*gaping* What the hell Terri? ! We're supposed to be consorts! Ain't that like...being married or something? !_

_**DREAMER:**__ *bitter* Yes because you're totally the utter most faithful lover of all eternity and clearly you devote yourself to me like Rhett Butler did to Scarlett O'Hara._

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*checking out some random girl and totally not paying attention* *snaps out of distraction* What?_

_**DREAMER: **__*facepalms* See what I mean? !_

_**PINHEAD: **__*vents* Argh! I can't take it anymore! You people are insane, you know that? !_

_**CD: **__*mutters darkly* You're not exactly any better for forcing us all into the job in the fuckin' first place..._

_**PINHEAD: **__*didn't hear what was said* *points accusedly at Pistonhead and Dreamer* You two need to see some relationship guidance! ! ! Because Leviathan forbid but probably will, SHE is gonna get pregnant and you both are going to be a disaster in that situation! And YOU *points to Camerahead* Scheudule a hair cut appointment immediately! You remind me of a soul I collected from the 1970's era who obsessed over some particular plant that made him act odd and world peace! And YOU *points to CD* You damn robot! You're both telepathic and have the quality of a sarcastic attitude of my former troop Chatterer...*sniffles and misses his old friend* Stop being sarcastic! It hurts! *snaps out of sad moment* And YOU *points to Barbie*...I got nothing._

_**BARBIE: **__*backing away* Uh...I'll take that as a compliment?_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__*not even caring about being called a hippy* Are we getting Joey out of this god damn tree or what? !_

_**PINHEAD: **__*randomly bursts out* Don't ever make another corny pun like the remark for a closeup EVER again! Like this film isn't alredy plagued enough of these shudder worthy lines..._

_**CD: **__*points out rather* Half of them which came from you._

_**PINHEAD: **__*whirls around* WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU ABOUT BEING SARCASTIC? !_

_**CD: **__*fearless* Dude, I'm just pointing out a fact._

_**PINHEAD: **__*annoyed* As this is an apparent slang term from this generation- go fuck yourself._

_**CD: **__Buy me dinner first._

_**PINHEAD: **__*eye twitches violently again* THAT MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE!_

_**CD: **__*amused* Might I also add in that another problem to your command, er 'Your Highness', I happen to have a girlfriend. What about you?_

_**PINHEAD: **__My personal relationship status is none of your business! Kirsty Cotton is in denial, I tell you! DENIAL! ! ! She totally digs me! ! !_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*crosses arms* Really? So why isn't she here right now?_

_**PINHEAD:**__ *makes up excuses* Clearly she needs some time to think to herself over how her heart truly desires for me and my utter sexiness!_

_**JOEY: **__O_O *does- GASP!- nothing, and remains in the tree*_

_**BARBIE: **__*sighs* I'm bored. Know what? It's getting late, I think I'll start a fire._

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*smiles* Great idea Rick! *stops* WAIT!_

_**BARBIE: **__*scared* What? !_

_**JOEY:**__ *gasps, thinking they have an evil plot to get her down from the tree*_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*calls out* Make sure you use that fire ONLY to keep us warm! NOT to burn down this tree or anything! Don't even try to burn it down or nothing. ONLY to keep us all warm, you hear?_

_**BARBIE: **__*already off somewhere else starting a fire* *content* Okay bro._

_**DREAMER: **__*curious* Quick question- should we all go after Joey all at once and stick together or try one at a time just so we don't have a chance of being defeated all together?_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__Babe, that's a good question. CLEARLY we should all stick together in this construction site while harassing Joey while she's in posession of the box, and we should all be as close as possible to that box, just so we'd all be able to go to the Labyrinth together. I know the title of this movie is 'Hell on Earth' and PinBoy over there is supposed to take over the world and all. But we're in this together! _

_**DREAMER: **__*grins happily* Right! Because friendship is magic!_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__*also dopey like the other two* Amen to that! *smiles*_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__Right, even if we had the opportunity to instead turn against PinBoy here and let him be trapped in the Box as revenge for what he did to us and for taking some of our innocent lives, and we could always take over instead- we're all in this together!_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__*pulling a Sirius Black* Until the end._

_**DREAMER: **__*pulling a Lily Potter* Always._

_**CD: **__*the only one with common sense* *facepalms* Oh for Pete's sake-_

_**BARBIE: **__*gasps and stops making fire* PETER ATKINS IS IN DANGER? ! OH NO! WE GOTTA SAVE HIM!_

_**DREAMER: **__*furrows brow* Who the hell is Peter Atkins?_

_**BARBIE:**__ *shrugs and cries out* I dunno! I just suddenly have this ominous feeling something about that guy is really important to me!_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*continues on anyways* And we could always cause mass destruction and spread fear...but this is all about Joey right now!_

_**JOEY: **__O_O *guess what? She's still in the tree!*_

_**DREAMER: **__Joey is CLEARLY the biggest threat right now! And we all need to focus on her only! Agreed?_

_**EVERYONE BUT CD: **__*cheerful* Agreed!_

_**CD: **__*knows it's a bad idea but just sighs and rolls his eyes* Yeah sure, fine. Agreed._

_**DREAMER:**__ *suddenly it hits her* *looks lovingly to Pistonhead* Babe...should we be worried about that puzzle box Joey has in her hands?_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*assuringly* Nah, sweetheart. It's just right up there with Joey, it's not going anywhere. :)_

_**DREAMER: **__Okay! :D_

* * *

It COULD'VE been like that also.

But for the final and fittingly related number of a third possible ending, it could've resulted in this also...

* * *

_**PINHEAD: **__*back in Hell* Dammit you fools! We lost! How fabulous is that- *pauses and goes back to yelling* IT ISN'T!_

_**BARBIE: **__*shrugs innocently* Hey, at least we tried! *accusing* I didn't see YOU doing anything when it came to chasing after Joey! You and your lazy ass just hid in the fog being all prancy in your uptight skirt! Hmph!_

_**CD: **__*stunned* Wow Rick...didn't know ya had it in ya to get rough. Anyways, *turns to Pinhead* can I go home now?_

_**PINHEAD: **__*confused* Uh...no._

_**CD: **__*carelessly continues to ask* Can I just call my family to assure them I'm alright before they make some kind of Amber Alert or whatever? Or my girlfriend? *heartbroken* My poor Shana! My sweetie Shany-Danny-Lanny-Manny-Poo-_

_**PINHEAD: **__O_o Dear Leviathan and to think I once believed Chatterer and Nikoletta gave it each other the utter most ridiculous loving nicknames. *stops at the memory of his friends* *blubbers* I MISS THEM!_

_**CD: **__*cries out in despair* And I miss her! ! !_

_**LEVIATHAN: **__*annoyed* What's with all the yelling? ! *floats in and sees Pinhead* *sour* Oh. Look. It's YOU._

_**PINHEAD: **__*gasps happily and looks up* DADDY! *runs up and grabs the gigantic diamond for a hug*_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*disbelief* That- that's your DAD? H- how...?_

_**LEVIATHAN: **__*uncomfortable with the hug* Xipe Totec, you were hereby grounded! Understand me mister? You've recklessly taken a bunch of innocent souls *looks at Pistonhead for one blatant second* mostly *continues* and broke every single rule in the book around here!_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*maons* There's rules in HELL of all places? ! Aw man! This place sucks already!_

_**LEVIATHAN: **__*WTF face* You haven't been here five minutes!_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*pouty* I've seen enough._

_**DREAMER: **__*ecsatic cries can be heard from echoes as she suddenly comes running in* Ooooh! I love it here! All the perfect empty space and just so many renovation plans! *clutches on to Pistonhead* There's this one perfect room for a nursery-_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*widens eyes* NURSERY? ! YOU MEAN LIKE- LIKE- LIKE- ONE FOR KIDS? YOU WANT THAT? THAT? THEM? IT? TH- KIDS? !_

_**DREAMER: **__*nods happily* Yup!_

_**CD: **__*holding back laughter* *mumbles* Welcome to Hell, JP Munroe._

_**PISTONHEAD:**__ YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! NEVERRRRR! *runs away in panic from Dreamer*_

_**DREAMER: **__*fiercely determined* GET BACK HERE! ! !_

_*sounds of piercing, ravaged, strangled love cries*_

_**PINHEAD: **__*awkward silence and shuffles feet* So...you guys like chains?_

_**BARBIE, CAMERAHEAD, AND CD: **__O_o_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__*distracted* I wonder if Joey is still stuck in that tree..._

_**CD: **__*purposely trying to annoy Pinhead* And with her precious Elly-Poo..._

_**PINHEAD: **__*rage face* FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-_

_**SOMEONE FAMILIAR: **__XIPE TOTEC! You son of a bitch! You replaced us? ! ?_

_**PINHEAD: **__*gasps* I know that voice from anywhere! *squees happily like a child and goes running* It's Niki! ! ! ! MY GASH IS BACK!_

_**NIKOLETTA, BUTTERBALL, AND CHATTERER: **__*crossed arms, unamused and rather angry expressions- not as happy to see Pinhead as he is with them*_

_**PINHEAD: **__*having a overdramatic sob fest* Oh I missed you guys! You would never believed what I've endured. Those young Pseudo Cenobites are such troublemakers, unlike you. My dearest, most sincere, truest, deepest, greatest, most wonderful and bestest friends of all time!_

_**CHATTERER: **__*frowning* Can it ya brownose! We ALL overheard about how you totally just dumped us and replaced for a bunch of newbies!_

_**BUTTERBALL: **__*sad eyes* I thought we had something special!_

_**NIKOLETTA: **__You even have some nerve to replace Kirsty too ya know!_

_**PINHEAD: **__*bounces happily* Kirsty's here? !_

_**NIKOLETTA:**__ Maybe...but that's not the point. YOU. DUMPED. US! ! !_

_**PINHEAD: **__Wha- I- I'd never! I'm so sorry!_

_**CHATTERER: **__*not buying it* Yeah yeah, whatever. Talk to the hand. *raises hand in Pinhead's face*_

_**PINHEAD:**__ *sniffles and grabs Chatterer's hand* Oh my important limb of a dear friend of mine, please find it deep inside to forgive me!_

_**CD: **__*right behind Pinhead* Oh so now WE'RE not good enough for you either? !_

_**PINHEAD: **__*spins around* *nervous* Ah, my friends._

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__*pulling a Lion King moment* *accused and bewildered* Friends? ! I thought he just said we were troublemakers!_

_**NIKOLETTA:**__ *nods wickedly* Yeah. That's what-_

_**BUTTERBALL: **__*immaturely makes a record scratch moment by interrupting* No fair! I only have one line then!_

_**NIKOLETTA:**__ *groans* Fine! You can just say it then._

_**BUTTERBALL: **__Yay! *smiles but then goes back to the Lion King reference* That's what we heard as well._

_**CHATTERER: **__*sniggers* That's what she said._

_**BUTTERBALL: **__I'm a boy, you moron!_

_**CHATTERER: **__I'm just making an inappropriate joke!_

_**BARBIE: **__So...you're gay then?_

_**CHATTERER: **__WHAT? !_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__No I think he's trying to reference that Butterball is gay._

_**BUTTERBALL: **__What? ! I am not! _

_**CD: **__*facepalms* Seriously you guys? It's not a gay joke at all-_

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__I GOT IT! Leviathan's gay!_

_**LEVIATHAN: **__*narrows 'eyes* Daniel, you're fired._

_**CAMERAHEAD: **__Buy me some dinner first._

_**CD: **__DON'T STEAL MY JOKE YOU JACKASS!_

_**PINHEAD: **__*whines* I want Kirsty! ! !_

_**DREAMER: **__*randomly returns from the vicious baby making sex session* And I want a baby! _

_**PISTONHEAD: **__*nearby with a traumatized look, clutching suddenly on to CD* Help me Jimmy, you're my only hope._

_**CD: **__...To do what?_

_**NIKOLETTA: **__*sassy* Who's this ditz?_

_**DREAMER: **__*frowns* Bring it whore!_

_**NIKOLETTA: **__*goes ghetto* Hun, I'm the original bitch of this crew! Step off!_

_**DREAMER: **__*frowns* JP, hold my earrings!_

_**PISTONHEAD: **__Uh, you're not wearing any._

_**NIKOLETTA: **__*smirks* Cos she's too poor to afford any._

_**DREAMER: **__THAT'S IT! *lunges for a cat fight*_

_**PINHEAD: **__O_o What the hell is this? ! An immature game of female dominance?_

_**PISTONHEAD AND CHATTERER: **__*snaps* Shut up! This is hot!_

_**BARBIE: **__Wait a second! We got off track! Weren't we supposed to finish what the hyenas say in the Lion King as we corner Pinhead? !_

_**PINHEAD: **__*screams* OH NO! I've seen this several times in many films! You vicious demonic fiends are going to hold me down and one by one take turns on shredding and slowly tearing out and apart my innards! then you'll all devour my brain and leave my body to rot for the buzzrads! AH!_

_**EVERYONE: **__*WTF or disapproval faces*...?..._

_**DREAMER AND NIKOLETTA: **__*literally have frozen from fighting to gawk at Pinhead*_

_**CHATTERER: **__*in awe* Dude...*shakes head* That's disgusting! We just want to beat you up for being a two timing lying supposed best friend!_

_**PINHEAD: **__O_O...Okay! :D *stops* Wait- what did I just say?_

_**SOMEBODY:**__ *shouts* GET HIM!_

_**PINHEAD:**__ *runs off complaining* This is a shitty ending! I want Kirsty! GAAAAAH! ! !_

_MEANWHILE_

_**TIFFANY: **__*chilling at Kirsty's place*_

_**KIRSTY:**__ *gazes* Tif, I don't know why...but suddenly I have this sensating feeling that right now I should've been enduring utter madness with someone familiar and an important key to my past, present, and future...*shrugs* Whatever. :P_

_**TIFFANY: **__*opens mouth to speak*_

_**BUTTERBALL: **__*shouts somehow for her to hear despite being in Hell underneath* SHUT UP TIFFANY!_

* * *

**THE END (?)**

_**Until we find Angelique to make some sort of a cameo and hence possibly making an AU HR4 parody crack ending. Soon...soon...;)**_


End file.
